In this new year, I've made a lot of changes. I actually started last year with work and have made conscious efforts to change everything from the way I spend money and use credit cards to the way I perform at work, supervise employees, and most importantly magnifying and increasing my walk with the Lord. This last change is the most important of all. You see, because I have seen how important it is to fully rely on the Lord. (FROG)
My friend, Gennifer taught my the acronym FROG and I have seen it already played out in special ways in these first few weeks of 2013. I've watched my best friend from high school lose her home to a fire but because of a change in sleeping pattern that normally wouldn't have happened, her family was unhurt. I've seen confirmations of the power of prayer in the continued good health of my family and the working of the Lord in our church. I've grown closer to my brothers and sisters in Christ as we have set our minds on the Lord. I've stayed on the path of financial reform by cutting up credit cards and living on what's in the bank. God has come thru time and time again with an on-time travel check, child support, and other fiscal ways. I've nurtured old friends and made new. I've discovered that I have to pray for my children and let his will be done in their life.
Through all of this, I've learned just how unreliable I am and how reliable and faithful God is. I've been growing for the past 2 years in Christ, but this is a new season. I am stirred. I'm beginning to see more clearly how I need to step back and let God work in all areas of my life. This perspective is exciting and scary. For a control freak like me, it causes fear. But the woman of God in me is excited. I am so ready to be a vessel for the kingdom. Not halfway walking in his will, but all the way. Where will it take me? What else will I see for 2013??
I don't mean to say that I am sensing all of His Will will be happy times in the emotional sense. I want to be humbled. I want to feel the pain and grief for the lost. I want to experience a fraction of the pain God feels for us when we disappoint him. I want to do the hard unrewarding work that will bring me close to him. I want to feel the pain and uncomfortable that it takes to be as close as I can get. This kind of temporary pain in the flesh will lead to lasting joy in the spirit. I'm sensing that only when I am brought low will I be fully relying on God. Does that sound crazy??
I'd ask that you all pray for me. Pray that I am humbled before the Lord and used as he would have me used. Thanks.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Failure
Today, I was in the car with a co-worker. Now this co-worker says that they pray and things like Bless you but I've never heard them say that they are a Christian. So anyway, we were talking about being sick. I was talking about my infamous "Vitamin C' they were telling me about how they had let themselves go because they had had a rough couple of years, become depressed, and let themselves go health-wise. Anyway, I made the comment that my joy in the Lord helps me. I guess I thought I would get an opportunity to witness. I probably should have witnessed....
I didn't though. Because what my co-worker said made me so sad I wanted to cry... I guess when they said that they grew up a Methodist but are a philosophical person now, I could almost predict it because I had been there. You see, I too had the "World Religions" class in college. I tried to interrupt and say that the class had deceived me... But I couldn't... When they went on to say that they thought Jesus was a cool person and one of their heroes, I couldn't hardly breathe.... I was driving so I didn't have to look at them but I wanted to cry. I wanted to pull over the car and beg and plead and tell them, no, He's MORE than that... He is life, He is our only hope. But how could I?? I had walked where they do and knew what it took to bring me back to the Lord. Years of wandering and feeling the same way. Worldly, educated because I just knew the so called facts...
So, I failed. I let them finish their comments about my Lord and then we went on to another subject... I guess I felt like maybe I shouldn't because we were on work time and I'm a supervisor. I am so burdened though... Pray that I get another opportunity and find the right words to witness. Also, pray for this person that they'll be ready to receive.
I didn't though. Because what my co-worker said made me so sad I wanted to cry... I guess when they said that they grew up a Methodist but are a philosophical person now, I could almost predict it because I had been there. You see, I too had the "World Religions" class in college. I tried to interrupt and say that the class had deceived me... But I couldn't... When they went on to say that they thought Jesus was a cool person and one of their heroes, I couldn't hardly breathe.... I was driving so I didn't have to look at them but I wanted to cry. I wanted to pull over the car and beg and plead and tell them, no, He's MORE than that... He is life, He is our only hope. But how could I?? I had walked where they do and knew what it took to bring me back to the Lord. Years of wandering and feeling the same way. Worldly, educated because I just knew the so called facts...
So, I failed. I let them finish their comments about my Lord and then we went on to another subject... I guess I felt like maybe I shouldn't because we were on work time and I'm a supervisor. I am so burdened though... Pray that I get another opportunity and find the right words to witness. Also, pray for this person that they'll be ready to receive.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Galatians 1:10
In my last post, I wrote about my deep seated desire to please others. Then, at 2 a.m. this morning, I wake up and am compelled to read the Word. So, I quietly reach for my phone and start reading Galatians. This verse jumped out at me.. "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."
Whew, tough words for a tough time. At a time when I've been searching about my very purpose as a Christian and grieving the loss of dear brothers and sisters who have left our church, this is revealed to me. Although it pains my flesh to think about those whom I have grown close to, I cannot give in to that. I love them dearly and feel their loss as though they have died. Yet, I am called to a mission of growth and transformation - a mission of "Bring them in, train them up, and send them out." That is where I must stay until God tells me otherwise. Now, I have peace. Good night and Thank You Jesus!
Whew, tough words for a tough time. At a time when I've been searching about my very purpose as a Christian and grieving the loss of dear brothers and sisters who have left our church, this is revealed to me. Although it pains my flesh to think about those whom I have grown close to, I cannot give in to that. I love them dearly and feel their loss as though they have died. Yet, I am called to a mission of growth and transformation - a mission of "Bring them in, train them up, and send them out." That is where I must stay until God tells me otherwise. Now, I have peace. Good night and Thank You Jesus!
Friday, December 7, 2012
Recognition vs. Love
I am a people pleaser. I have always wanted to impress people and for people to like me and be proud of me and say nice things about me. That's just who I am. It comes from a sense of feeling that my parents were never proud of me so I have always striven to please others. I am one of those people that get pleasure out the words "thank you," "good job," or "we appreciate you." It truly blesses me.
However, I have come to know something greater. I have come to know that my works don't impress God and to instead by blessed by his grace and mercy. I am so blessed that I can serve him - he gives me the ability to do that. I strive now to do things out of love and not for recognition. It is simply amazing to me that he loves me - me who constantly disappoints him, me out of all the people in the world, me insignificant me. He loved me enough to die for me. So, you see, that love beats all the "thank you's," "atta girl," and all the pats on the back man could ever give me.
And that love, the knowledge of this very special, unmatched, unsurpassed love, is what can get me through anything. So bring it on world, bring it on Devil, bring it on whoever. I have victory through Jesus Christ. He loves me and nothing can separate me from that.
However, I have come to know something greater. I have come to know that my works don't impress God and to instead by blessed by his grace and mercy. I am so blessed that I can serve him - he gives me the ability to do that. I strive now to do things out of love and not for recognition. It is simply amazing to me that he loves me - me who constantly disappoints him, me out of all the people in the world, me insignificant me. He loved me enough to die for me. So, you see, that love beats all the "thank you's," "atta girl," and all the pats on the back man could ever give me.
And that love, the knowledge of this very special, unmatched, unsurpassed love, is what can get me through anything. So bring it on world, bring it on Devil, bring it on whoever. I have victory through Jesus Christ. He loves me and nothing can separate me from that.
Getting in touch with our food
It seems as if we have lost something with the way we buy everything at the grocery store. We get grossed out when we see the deer on the back of the 4 wheeler with blood dripping out of it. We especially get grossed out when we see the pictures of the chickens in the large chicken farms.
Now granted, I always felt the same way. I didn't really think about food coming from anywhere else except the grocery store while growing up. No one in my family hunted so I was unfamiliar with all of that.
However, when I married and my husband (both my ex and current) is an avid deer hunter, I got a real quick lesson in the bloody reality of where food comes from. At first, I was grossed out, then intrigued. Yes, I had anatomy but seeing deer innards is a little different from the cold gray formaldehyde of science class. As long as he is careful not to cut the bowels (smell is AWFUL), it is neat to look at the heart, lungs, brain, and other organs of the deer.
There is also something about seeing it that makes me appreciate the hard working folks who farm our lands. It is a lot of work to keep animals and grow our food. While technology has brought some good advances (better equipment and not so good advances (cancer causing hormones and genetic research), farming reminds me of a time when God was first, hard work was crucial to survival, and times were a whole lot simpler. The pleasure of a good harvest, the satisfaction of enjoying fresh bacon from the first season's butcher, and the honesty of it all is something that we have lost touch.
Now granted, I always felt the same way. I didn't really think about food coming from anywhere else except the grocery store while growing up. No one in my family hunted so I was unfamiliar with all of that.
However, when I married and my husband (both my ex and current) is an avid deer hunter, I got a real quick lesson in the bloody reality of where food comes from. At first, I was grossed out, then intrigued. Yes, I had anatomy but seeing deer innards is a little different from the cold gray formaldehyde of science class. As long as he is careful not to cut the bowels (smell is AWFUL), it is neat to look at the heart, lungs, brain, and other organs of the deer.
There is also something about seeing it that makes me appreciate the hard working folks who farm our lands. It is a lot of work to keep animals and grow our food. While technology has brought some good advances (better equipment and not so good advances (cancer causing hormones and genetic research), farming reminds me of a time when God was first, hard work was crucial to survival, and times were a whole lot simpler. The pleasure of a good harvest, the satisfaction of enjoying fresh bacon from the first season's butcher, and the honesty of it all is something that we have lost touch.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Putting my money where my mouth is
I've been a Dave Ramsey fan for a long time. I went through his series of classes, bought the book, listen to the podcasts, everything. But somehow, after I cut up the credit cards all those years ago and almost got out of debt, I somehow have all those cards back in my wallet again and I'm knee deep in debt. $70,000 or so with student loans....
I've got to do this and will do this. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. So, tomorrow, the credit cards are going in the shredder. The fast food is stopping. This is hard right before Christmas. However, I've been pinning "frugal" tips and home made Christmas gifts. I can do this. I will emerge VICTORIOUS!!!!
I've got to do this and will do this. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. So, tomorrow, the credit cards are going in the shredder. The fast food is stopping. This is hard right before Christmas. However, I've been pinning "frugal" tips and home made Christmas gifts. I can do this. I will emerge VICTORIOUS!!!!
Monday, November 5, 2012
In God We Trust
I was watching this show on Inspiration tonight. While I am proud of Romney for his faith, I was overcome by the love for Christ that President Reagan had. http://www.insp.com/ingodwetrustvideo/
I was absolutely astounded by some of the things he said, such as quoting John 3:16 and quoting Abraham Lincoln as saying "I've been driven to my knees many times by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."
This was an awesome piece on the Christian Heritage of our country. It's only a half hour. Go watch it. http://www.insp.com/ingodwetrustvideo/
I was absolutely astounded by some of the things he said, such as quoting John 3:16 and quoting Abraham Lincoln as saying "I've been driven to my knees many times by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."
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