Rain

With the extremely long and cold weather we've had this winter, I was disappointed to see it raining today.  I had went to the grocery store and when I came out, it was raining.  That meant the bags getting wet, me getting wet, and now this lovely coughing in my chest that the rain probably didn't help.  Rain also means Jeff's arthritis bothering him and usually that comes with a grumpy mood...  Rain also means that I am usually chilled to the bone and wishing I had a fireplace and the time and luxury to curl up with a good book.  So today, rain is not the welcome experience it is like other times such as Summer when a refreshing rain breaks up the heat of the day.  No, today, the rain is a cold, dreary end to a much too short weekend. Well, at least here in the physical...

Yet, it makes me think about rain from heaven.  ~Come on and rain down on me, rain down on me Lord~  Rain from heaven is blessing.  So much of God's Word is tied with water and and rain.  From the rain Elijah prayed for that broke the drought to references of showers of blessing.  Even the great flood - forty days and nights of rain...  Hmm...  Guess I should quit complaining, huh??

Rain cleanses.  Rain is required for life.  When it rains, it nourishes and feeds all of God's creation.  No matter what this week holds ~ weather, stress, illness, or situations ~ I am declaring tonight that I will Bless the Lord and dance in the very rain from heaven.  So, if you see me with a smile on my face this week, know that it's raining in my spirit!!!  :)

Ezekiel 34:26  And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing.

Acts 14:17 Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy."

Deuteronomy 28:12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none.

Psalm 68:9 You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.

Isaiah 44:3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.

The above are just a few of the good scriptures about rain.  Get in and get some!!!!!  Love to you all!!!

Hard Times Make Us

I was driving home the other day and heard Glen Beck telling about getting a pocket knife that was engraved "Hard times make us."  I won't get into the politics of what he was talking about but would rather like to share what this phrase means to me.

I began to think about my life.  What does this phrase mean to me? I immediately think back about the way I grew up.  My mom and dad din't have much.  My dad was an alcoholic.  Not a mean alcoholic, but a functioning alcoholic.  From as early as I can remember, he always had a beer nearby.  When you coupled this with his diabetes, he was a very sick man.  But oh, what a lovely man.  I was his baby (the youngest of three and the only girl).  My mom was a wonderful mother in her own way.  She lived a rough life with my dad but always did what she could for me.  I was raised in an old store house near the elementary school.  We had running water (well water) and an outside toilet.  I often speak to older generations that had that, however, it was the "norm" for them.  Unfortunately, in my generation, it wasn't.  My house sat just below the elementary school so all the kids knew exactly where I lived.  I can't remember specific instances of teasing but always had this feeling of embarrassment and shame growing up.  I can remember in Kindergarten the teacher trying to explain to me that the toilet had to be flushed and that's a normal thing, not to be scared of it.  For several years, I would always flush the toilet and then back away quickly.  I just didn't understand it. I had wonderful neighbors and friends though.  I hope that Melody, Regina, and some of the others realize just how instrumental you were in my wanting to live a different way growing up.  I love you for the kindness and love you showed to me and my mom.  You were an extended part of our family, it seemed like.  Back then, neighbors were truly neighbors and we could always count on you.  I know my brother still does...

So, then I think about my dad dying when I was in middle school and the craziness I went through as a teenager.  I won't recall all of that on here because I still have a teenage daughter and a  pre-teen son and don't want them getting any ideas...  Ha Ha.  But seriously, i think back to the times when God just flat out spared my life despite my own stupidity.  I got pregnant at 17 and had my daughter when I was barely out of high school (which I almost didn't even finish).  I moved to Charleston with the help of a now gone program called the Single Mothers Program at Covenant House.  A social worker (imagine that!) at Family Care referred me to another social worker in this program and it changed my life.  They helped me get into public housing which was quite an experience.  I had my mother's day basket of flowers stolen the first night I was there and watched an overdose victim removed from the apartment next door the second or third day I was there.  Quite the cultural shock for the girl that thought the yearly trip to Ohio for coal was really getting out there and seeing a lot!!!

My early college years were a struggle too.  Approximately 6 hours or so getting to and from classes on a complicated exchange of bus routes and daycare arrangements for my daughter. There's more to my story, but you get the picture...

These experiences made me.  The struggles, as hard as they have been, made me the person I am today.  I don't know if I would have appreciated my life today if I hadn't gone through all of that.  Back then, it hurt.  I can remember feeling angry that I had to go through it.

Yet, where would I be today if I hadn't struggled?  I think I'd probably be dead today if not for the grace of the Lord and the desire he put in me to do better, have better.  I know the things I experience today - the hard times - continue to make me strive for better.  This life is a race, Paul wrote.  How true that is.  Pastor Wight says, you're either in a storm, coming out of the storm, or getting ready to go into a storm.  These storms are what help us grow.

So, I'm done.  I could write a lot more, but this is probably long enough.  Until next time...

FROG

In this new year, I've made a lot of changes.  I actually started last year with work and have made conscious efforts to change everything from the way I spend money and use credit cards to the way I perform at work, supervise employees, and most importantly magnifying and increasing my walk with the Lord.  This last change is the most important of all.  You see, because I have seen how important it is to fully rely on the Lord. (FROG)

My friend, Gennifer taught my the acronym FROG and I have seen it already played out in special ways in these first few weeks of 2013.  I've watched my best friend from high school lose her home to a fire but because of a change in sleeping pattern that normally wouldn't have happened, her family was unhurt.  I've seen confirmations of the power of prayer in the continued good health of my family and the working of the Lord in our church.  I've grown closer to my brothers and sisters in Christ as we have set our minds on the Lord.  I've stayed on the path of financial reform by cutting up credit cards and living on what's in the bank.  God has come thru time and time again with an on-time travel check, child support, and other fiscal ways.  I've nurtured old friends and made new.  I've discovered that I have to pray for my children and let his will be done in their life.

Through all of this, I've learned just how unreliable I am and how reliable and faithful God is.  I've been growing for the past 2 years in Christ, but this is a new season.  I am stirred.  I'm beginning to see more clearly how I need to step back and let God work in all areas of my life.  This perspective is exciting and scary.  For a control freak like me, it causes fear.  But the woman of God in me is excited.  I am so ready to be a vessel for the kingdom.  Not halfway walking in his will, but all the way.  Where will it take me?  What else will I see for 2013??

I don't mean to say that I am sensing all of His Will will be happy times in the emotional sense.  I want to be humbled.  I want to feel the pain and grief for the lost.  I want to experience a fraction of the pain God feels for us when we disappoint him.  I want to do the hard unrewarding work that will bring me close to him. I want to feel the pain and uncomfortable that it takes to be as close as I can get.  This kind of temporary pain in the flesh will lead to lasting joy in the spirit.  I'm sensing that only when I am brought low will I be fully relying on God.  Does that sound crazy??

I'd ask that you all pray for me.  Pray that I am humbled before the Lord and used as he would have me used.  Thanks.

Failure

Today, I was in the car with a co-worker.  Now this co-worker says that they pray and things like Bless you but I've never heard them say that they are a Christian.  So anyway, we were talking about being sick.  I was talking about my infamous "Vitamin C' they were telling me about how they had let themselves go because they had had a rough couple of years, become depressed, and let themselves go health-wise.  Anyway, I made the comment that my joy in the Lord helps me.  I guess I thought I would get an opportunity to witness.  I probably should have witnessed....

I didn't though.  Because what my co-worker said made me so sad I wanted to cry...  I guess when they said that they grew up a Methodist but are a philosophical person now, I could almost predict it because I had been there. You see, I too had the "World Religions" class in college.  I tried to interrupt and say that the class had deceived me...  But I couldn't...  When they went on to say that they thought Jesus was a cool person and one of their heroes, I couldn't hardly breathe....  I was driving so I didn't have to look at them but I wanted to cry.  I wanted to pull over the car and beg and plead and tell them, no, He's MORE than that...  He is life, He is our only hope.  But how could I??  I had walked where they do and knew what it took to bring me back to the Lord.  Years of wandering and feeling the same way.  Worldly, educated because I just knew the so called facts...

So, I failed.  I let them finish their comments about my Lord and then we went on to another subject...  I guess I felt like maybe I shouldn't because we were on work time and I'm a supervisor.  I am so burdened though...  Pray that I get another opportunity and find the right words to witness.  Also, pray for this person that they'll be ready to receive.

Galatians 1:10

In my last post, I wrote about my deep seated desire to please others.  Then, at 2 a.m. this morning, I wake up and am compelled to read the Word.  So, I quietly reach for my phone and start reading Galatians.  This verse jumped out at me..  "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ."

Whew, tough words for a tough time.  At a time when I've been searching about my very purpose as a Christian and grieving the loss of dear brothers and sisters who have left our church, this is revealed to me.  Although it pains my flesh to think about those whom I have grown close to, I cannot give in to that.   I love them dearly and feel their loss as though they have died.  Yet, I am called to a mission of growth and transformation -  a mission of "Bring them in, train them up, and send them out."  That is where I must stay until God tells me otherwise. Now, I have peace.  Good night and Thank You Jesus!

Recognition vs. Love

I am a people pleaser.  I have always wanted to impress people and for people to like me and be proud of me and say nice things about me.  That's just who I am.  It comes from a sense of feeling that my parents were never proud of me so I have always striven to please others.  I am one of those people that get pleasure out the words "thank you," "good job," or "we appreciate you."  It truly blesses me.

However, I have come to know something greater. I have come to know that my works don't impress God and to instead by blessed by his grace and mercy.  I am so blessed that I can serve him - he gives me the ability to do that.  I strive now to do things out of love and not for recognition.  It is simply amazing to me that he loves me - me who constantly disappoints him, me out of all the people in the world, me insignificant me.  He loved me enough to die for me.  So, you see, that love beats all the "thank you's," "atta girl," and all the pats on the back man could ever give me.

And that love, the knowledge of this very special, unmatched, unsurpassed love, is what can get me through anything.  So bring it on world, bring it on Devil, bring it on whoever.  I have victory through Jesus Christ.  He loves me and nothing can separate me from that.

Getting in touch with our food

It seems as if we have lost something with the way we buy everything at the grocery store.  We get grossed out when we see the deer on the back of the 4 wheeler with blood dripping out of it.  We especially get grossed out when we see the pictures of the chickens in the large chicken farms.

Now granted, I always felt the same way.  I didn't really think about food coming from anywhere else except the grocery store while growing up.  No one in my family hunted so I was unfamiliar with all of that.

However, when I married and my husband (both my ex and current) is an avid deer hunter, I got a real quick lesson in the bloody reality of where food comes from.  At first, I was grossed out, then intrigued.  Yes, I had anatomy but seeing deer innards is a little different from the cold gray formaldehyde of science class.  As long as he is careful not to cut the bowels (smell is AWFUL), it is neat to look at the heart, lungs, brain, and other organs of the deer.

There is also something about seeing it that makes me appreciate the hard working folks who farm our lands.  It is a lot of work to keep animals and grow our food. While technology has brought some good advances (better equipment  and not so good advances (cancer causing hormones and genetic research), farming reminds me of a time when God was first, hard work was crucial to survival, and times were a whole lot simpler.  The pleasure of a good harvest, the satisfaction of enjoying fresh bacon from the first season's butcher, and the honesty of it all is something that we have lost touch.